Fleeting Paradox

Living in oblivion,
Inside a bubble I built around.
Shutting people out,
Hiding behind a mask,
For fear of losing myself,again.
I convinced myself it was better this way.

Letting people see inside my complex self,
Fills my heart with an inexplicable fear.
The one that filled my heart 
That dreadful day I lost a friend.
A part of me left with her that day,
One I knew I couldn't recover.

Day after day I told myself,
She was way too good.
Too good to be true.
Rumors flew,
I was caught in those web of lies.

Fights followed,loyalties ended.
Both ended up with broken hearts.
Egos got the better of us,
Hatred seeped into our hearts
Darkening our souls to the core.

I no longer recognized the girl
I once called my friend.
Realization dawned on me, in looking
At that dusty mirror on the wall
Maybe it was just an illusion,
But I saw how dark my soul had become.

With every hateful word,
I lost a part of me
To the darkness metastasizing
Eating away what little was left of me.

I couldn't lose my light.
I was stronger than this darkness around me.
There had to be a way,
a solution to this mess I'd made of myself.

That's when I realized,
I wasn't looking in the right place.
I didn't need to embark on a life changing journey.
The answer was right here,inside of me.

When I pushed those clouds
Of hatred away
I saw that people 
aren't as rumors may say.

Love always finds a way.
It scrubs the darkness 
inked on my soul,away.
All you need is patience
and the willingness to stay.
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With Me

Rising to greater heights,
Steering through the smoke filled sky,
Your way you try to navigate.
Wounded mid-flight,you fall steadily.
Spiraling downwards,
The pavement,you hit hard.

Wounded and broken,
In a pool of blood
Those feathers you once ruffled
Lay torn apart.

Life doesn’t seem worth living,
Now that you’ve lost everything.
There’s no way you could survive
In this cruel and unfair world.

Giving up seems so much easier,
Than staying and fighting.
For your life,for all that you once could do
But now need another.
You don’t want to ask for help
‘Coz that would make you look weak.

Little bird,don’t be scared
It’s only in the darkness
when your heart’s in a million pieces
That you find the strength,
to hold on till dawn awakens.

Let me take you home,
And nurse your wounds.
Sing to you a sweet lullaby,
Just like your mamma bird did.

As you lay asleep,
I’ll keep watch over you.
You’re safe with me,
There’s nothing to fear.

I’ll feed you and quench your thirst.
I promise to be patient,
and to understand
that every failure
brings you closer to success.

I promise to stay by you.
Work at it everyday.
Fight all the trials,
that may come your way.

And in no time,
you’ll able to fly high
into the bright blue sky.

Love Lives!

I look at you,
a confused expression
across my face.

You gently hold my hand,
I withdraw in fear.
My temporal lobe unable
to place you in my life.

Patiently you explain,
that for long I’ve known you.
I want to let you in.
But I’m afraid.
Everything here is delusional,they say.

You seem to see through me
for you know of all my likes and dislikes.
Maybe you are being truthful.
My brain however,
doesn’t seem to corroborate
that gut feeling inside of me.

You feed me and take care of me,
until I’m safe in my bed each night.
You were forbearing through all those mood swings
and played my favorite song as I ate.
You’ve upheld all those promises
you made at the altar.
“In sickness and in health”
Only to be asked,”Who are you?”.

I wish I could reciprocate,
but time catches up with my memory,
and it’s a clean slate all over again.

Don’t for a second think
I’ve forgotten our love.
It still lives embedded deep,
in the safe chambers
of my dying heart.
A place my disease cannot reach.

Until then let’s fall in love
over and over again,
and dance into the night.

P.S:This is inspired by a video I came across recently.

Wounded Soul

Letting go is hard,but sometimes holding on is harder.

In the quiet of the night
I try to calm my restless heart.
Stirred by the waking of my demons
At a time I was most vulnerable.

Tossing and turning,
With every hour passing
I hoped I’d find an answer.
But all I felt was emptiness.

Subconsciously,I reached for my phone
dialing that number ever so familiar.
Somehow believing that voice
could calm the turmoil
churning inside of me.

As I held the phone against my ear,
I hoped to hear his voice.
I wanted desperately to confirm
that he still cared,
that his ego wasn’t all he was made of.

My utter disappointment,
to be proved wrong.
But being my adamant self,
once again did I try.
Hoping his heart would melt
and he’d forget all about it.

Tired of the mindless fights
and nonsensical arguments
that tarnished the bond we once shared,
I decided for once to let ego win.
‘Coz maybe sometimes a bruise
is better than a wounded soul.

Undying Love

Hey guys!I’m super excited to post this as it is a result of a collab with one of my favorite people at wordpress.Do check out her site lifeconfusions.wordpress.com ,it has some pretty amazing stuff.Hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing. 🙂
Much love,
Jess ❤

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Hours away stuck at a desk,
There was a man in his best tux and a laptop sitting in front.
His heart wandered where his being couldn’t.
Somewhere oceans and shores away,
His soul searched for a woman it craved.
His fingers typed huge lines of code all day,
while his mind traversed memories,
Spanning across years they’d spent together.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee,
And her face illuminated by the morning sun.
Everything was perfect in the land they lived once.

A kiss upon his cheek and her smile as she pulled away,
Was all he needed to get through another day.
His comfort lay in the sound of her laughter, as she lay in his arms.

The walks in the park,
Laying on the grassy fields,
Watching the sun sets
And gazing upon the sea,
Counting stars in the night sky,
Hand in hand they walked through life.

One fateful day that letter arrived,
The one that took her so far away.
She was ready to give up her dream for him,
But he wouldn’t let her no matter what.

His heart was breaking in million pieces all at once,
While hers didn’t know how to beat without him.

So they told themselves they just weren’t meant to be,
That it wasn’t the right time, right place to be.
Maybe in another time,at another place
their stars would align perfectly.

And that’s how their story ended,
Before it could even began.
But could love ever end?

Eternal Love

Jesus,your name
is the calm in my chaos.
You define everything I’m made of.

You’re the fragrance amidst
the pile of ashes,my dirty sins left behind.
You’re the one who urges me to change
and make clean that unsettling heart of mine.

Lord,you’re the hope
Of a rainbow in the stormy skies of life.
I know for sure I’ll never fear
the darkness that engulfs me at night
or the demons that need to be tamed inside.

Your presence I can find
In a gentle breeze
in the sweet laughter of a little baby
or the kind stranger across the street.

Your words give me strength to overcome
the negativity that that I’m constantly feeding
or the anger issues that I’m breeding.

I can’t imagine how I could be loved
for I despised myself for all my failings.
But you didn’t give up on me.
That’s when I realized that your love is all I need.

Maybe

4800broken_lamp
I cling onto your broken pieces
gently holding them close.
No,I’m not  here to fix them
I am myself broken.

As you walk along this journey
let me walk beside you.
Maybe you will find solace
in the shards of my broken heart.

As I let you trace your finger around each scar
the stories behind them will come to life
and that’s when you’ll see through me.
Battle scars woven intricately into my soul.

Torn between all the regrets and what-ifs
It’s here that maybe my messed up self
could bring a smile on your face.

I can’t promise that I’ll find those missing pieces
or even place the ones I have, correctly.
But I do know for sure
that I will fight against the world for you
because being broken is all I’ve known.