Wounded Soul

Letting go is hard,but sometimes holding on is harder.

In the quiet of the night
I try to calm my restless heart.
Stirred by the waking of my demons
At a time I was most vulnerable.

Tossing and turning,
With every hour passing
I hoped I’d find an answer.
But all I felt was emptiness.

Subconsciously,I reached for my phone
dialing that number ever so familiar.
Somehow believing that voice
could calm the turmoil
churning inside of me.

As I held the phone against my ear,
I hoped to hear his voice.
I wanted desperately to confirm
that he still cared,
that his ego wasn’t all he was made of.

My utter disappointment,
to be proved wrong.
But being my adamant self,
once again did I try.
Hoping his heart would melt
and he’d forget all about it.

Tired of the mindless fights
and nonsensical arguments
that tarnished the bond we once shared,
I decided for once to let ego win.
‘Coz maybe sometimes a bruise
is better than a wounded soul.

Maybe

4800broken_lamp
I cling onto your broken pieces
gently holding them close.
No,I’m not  here to fix them
I am myself broken.

As you walk along this journey
let me walk beside you.
Maybe you will find solace
in the shards of my broken heart.

As I let you trace your finger around each scar
the stories behind them will come to life
and that’s when you’ll see through me.
Battle scars woven intricately into my soul.

Torn between all the regrets and what-ifs
It’s here that maybe my messed up self
could bring a smile on your face.

I can’t promise that I’ll find those missing pieces
or even place the ones I have, correctly.
But I do know for sure
that I will fight against the world for you
because being broken is all I’ve known.

A different road

Dreams are scattered
In the seas of expectations.
How much can be expected
out of a single being?

How much further should I go,
To prove my worth,
And that marks isn’t all that makes me?

Is it that big a crime,
If I falter along the way?
Bruise my knee a little,
Make me immune to the pain.

Is it wrong if I decide,
This isn’t the life that I dreamt of living.
Dump my present plans,
And start afresh?

No, I don’t hate it entirely,

J

ust the pressure along,

Makes me wanna explode.

I might not be sure,

where I’m heading.

Bu

t will surely make it big someday.

What must I sacrifice,
To do what I truly love?
The things that I’m actually good at,
And to mess up things I’m not?

Will I get awkward stares,
As I cross the road?
And people begin whispering
About the girl who dropped out.

Isn’t happiness a good thing?
Then why do I have to think twice,
If I decide I want to be different?

Not follow the rest of the world,

Instead make a way,

W

here no one has ever tread before.

Blame game

She called him a monster without realising that she was the one feeding him

–From a fragment of my creative mind 😀

Many a times we find it convenient to blame others for all the things going wrong in our life.Suddenly we feel better knowing that it had nothing to do with us.

Anger builds inside
Blood rushes through my veins.
All my weak moments Flash before me
Like scenes of a movie.

Irritated, I try to divert my mind
I find myself walking down memory lane.
All those wrong choices
Taunt me, they hurt me.

A scream escapes my mouth.
It wasn’t my fault
I make myself believe.
It’s easier to blame
It lessens the pain, the shame.

I do not want to accept
It was me all along
That I was to blame.

I bottle up my frustrations
Till I can’t hold them in anymore
End up hurting people who love, who care.

Why do I find it so hard
To stop the blame game
And my ego tame.

Angels unknown

There are a few people in your life,who just happened to walk in by chance.They touched your life in a way you could never imagine.This is to all the angels in mine.

angel

Have you ever felt

lonely in a crowd

with many familiar faces

sad amongst a thousand smiles?

 

Drowning in self pity,

your mind refusing to believe

what the heart already knows.

 

A huge smart phone

big contact list

still no one to call

who can sense the battle within.

 

Those you called friends

were only make-believe

now that the masks have fallen

it’s all crystal clear.

 

Have you ever felt

the darkness swirling inside

forming a huge storm

waiting to rush out.

 

Have you ever felt

the cold seeping through every pore

reopening every wound you bore.

 

Reminding you of your failures

pushing you to the edge,

waiting for you to give up.

You fight back

as it tries to gain control.

You don’t want to lose yourself,

But you are tired of trying.

That’s the end you believe.

 

That’s when the angels appear

the ones you left behind

in a hurry to race ahead.

They spread their wings

and gently help you rise.

 

At first you stumble,

Patiently waiting,to cushion your each  fall

they guide you through the right route

till you reach your safe haven.

 

Forgotten Smile

How can you smile

when hate is what you’ve received all your life.

How can you love,with wounds so deep.

Your heart used,abused and hurt.

How can you give when

all you had was snatched away from you.

How can you forgive

when mercy is alien to you.

 

What do you say to a soul

so broken and battered.

How do you provide rays of comfort ?

 

People told me to make peace with my past

then only could I step towards the future.

At first stubborn was I,

I didn’t want to let go of the pain

‘coz then I’d have nothing to hate.

My life would lose meaning

if I forgave those who hurt me.

 

Days later I got thinking

trying won’t cause any harm.

So each day I made myself

forgive those who caused me pain.

 

As I looked into the mirror each day

I saw a much stronger person,

I was taken aback a little.

“How?” is the question  I keep asking  myself,

how did this come to be?

“Should I embrace this new person I see

or run as far as my legs take me.”

 

I’m beginning to feel

to love and care for people.

I see that hatred being washed away

and I’m feeling the weight lift off day by day.

I think I can feel the corners of my mouth

shape a smile across my face.

I think I’ve found peace,I found happiness.

Deafening SIlence

“How can you live in peace when you have your own battles going on inside?”

 

Image

As I walk among busy crowds

I see people hustling by

lost in the noise of their mundane lives.

Earphones plugged in,music deafening

most of them try to drown out

the incessant cries of their hurting soul.

If you look closely 

each one tells a different story.

 

They prevent exposing their true self

for fear they won’t be accepted.

It is much easier to just walk away

without care or thought.

 

No they aren’t wearing a mask.

It is a mere tool to distract

them from the stress and tensions of life

they want to run,

turn away and hide.

 

Why always choose the easy way out?

‘Coz it is less painful.

They don’t have to hear people

constantly accusing them

of not being good enough.

Calling them a failure

no matter how hard they try,

 reopening old wounds.

 

This world is harsh on those

genuinely trying to change

Even the little  courage

they gather to put behind their mistakes,

are lost in the careless whispers that float around

hopeless and trapped in the past

 they roam round and round  

only to end up where they started.

 

Why is it so hard to let someone try again?

If you cannot encourage

atleast don’t put them down.

You never know when the tables will turn

and you might fail.

Put some thought,

would you like to be treated the same?