Lost Innocence

Sadness pulled him close
Drawn like a moth to a flame.
Hiding in her tresses,
He glumly peeked outside
And watched quietly as the world bustled by.

As his gaze fell upon her,
That scrawny little girl in rags
Selling flowers on the sidewalk
Vulnerable to lecherous advances,
He was transported back
To a different place,a different time.

Through the frames that flickered
In his prodigious mind castle,
He watched helplessly
As he was stripped of his innocence
Reliving every scar as if it were yesterday.

He watched his confidant
Morph into his biggest nightmare.
One that left him screaming into the darkness.

He watched helplessly as his family
Looked at him with disbelief.
“This doesn’t happen to boys” kept ringing in his ears
Over and over again, a broken tape recorder.

He watched helplessly as life went by
While he lost himself in that day
Like his life had hit pause forever.
No one seemed to notice the absence of his soul
While his body hustled in the crowd.

He watched helplessly
As he lived in constant fear.
Fear of losing what little was left of him.
So he spun a web around his heart
And covered it with a thousand thorns.

As his spirit returned
Exhausted from the daunting past,
He noticed that little girl come up to him.
A sense of protectiveness engulfed him.

The shell that he had built around
Shattered to a million pieces.
He had to take a stand.
He had to make a difference.
He wanted to save her innocence.

A significant number of victims of sexual abuse are male. What makes it even more difficult for them is the stereotype that victims of abuse are female.
Contrary to public beliefs, sexual assault can happen to anyone, irrespective of age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Many a times male victims are more hesitant than female victims to speak out for fear of being judged harshly by the patriarchal society.

Picture Credits:Lapis-Lazuri

 

Fleeting Paradox

Living in oblivion,
Inside a bubble I built around.
Shutting people out,
Hiding behind a mask,
For fear of losing myself,again.
I convinced myself it was better this way.

Letting people see inside my complex self,
Fills my heart with an inexplicable fear.
The one that filled my heart 
That dreadful day I lost a friend.
A part of me left with her that day,
One I knew I couldn't recover.

Day after day I told myself,
She was way too good.
Too good to be true.
Rumors flew,
I was caught in those web of lies.

Fights followed,loyalties ended.
Both ended up with broken hearts.
Egos got the better of us,
Hatred seeped into our hearts
Darkening our souls to the core.

I no longer recognized the girl
I once called my friend.
Realization dawned on me, in looking
At that dusty mirror on the wall
Maybe it was just an illusion,
But I saw how dark my soul had become.

With every hateful word,
I lost a part of me
To the darkness metastasizing
Eating away what little was left of me.

I couldn't lose my light.
I was stronger than this darkness around me.
There had to be a way,
a solution to this mess I'd made of myself.

That's when I realized,
I wasn't looking in the right place.
I didn't need to embark on a life changing journey.
The answer was right here,inside of me.

When I pushed those clouds
Of hatred away
I saw that people 
aren't as rumors may say.

Love always finds a way.
It scrubs the darkness 
inked on my soul,away.
All you need is patience
and the willingness to stay.

With Me

Rising to greater heights,
Steering through the smoke filled sky,
Your way you try to navigate.
Wounded mid-flight,you fall steadily.
Spiraling downwards,
The pavement,you hit hard.

Wounded and broken,
In a pool of blood
Those feathers you once ruffled
Lay torn apart.

Life doesn’t seem worth living,
Now that you’ve lost everything.
There’s no way you could survive
In this cruel and unfair world.

Giving up seems so much easier,
Than staying and fighting.
For your life,for all that you once could do
But now need another.
You don’t want to ask for help
‘Coz that would make you look weak.

Little bird,don’t be scared
It’s only in the darkness
when your heart’s in a million pieces
That you find the strength,
to hold on till dawn awakens.

Let me take you home,
And nurse your wounds.
Sing to you a sweet lullaby,
Just like your mamma bird did.

As you lay asleep,
I’ll keep watch over you.
You’re safe with me,
There’s nothing to fear.

I’ll feed you and quench your thirst.
I promise to be patient,
and to understand
that every failure
brings you closer to success.

I promise to stay by you.
Work at it everyday.
Fight all the trials,
that may come your way.

And in no time,
you’ll able to fly high
into the bright blue sky.

Love Lives!

I look at you,
a confused expression
across my face.

You gently hold my hand,
I withdraw in fear.
My temporal lobe unable
to place you in my life.

Patiently you explain,
that for long I’ve known you.
I want to let you in.
But I’m afraid.
Everything here is delusional,they say.

You seem to see through me
for you know of all my likes and dislikes.
Maybe you are being truthful.
My brain however,
doesn’t seem to corroborate
that gut feeling inside of me.

You feed me and take care of me,
until I’m safe in my bed each night.
You were forbearing through all those mood swings
and played my favorite song as I ate.
You’ve upheld all those promises
you made at the altar.
“In sickness and in health”
Only to be asked,”Who are you?”.

I wish I could reciprocate,
but time catches up with my memory,
and it’s a clean slate all over again.

Don’t for a second think
I’ve forgotten our love.
It still lives embedded deep,
in the safe chambers
of my dying heart.
A place my disease cannot reach.

Until then let’s fall in love
over and over again,
and dance into the night.

P.S:This is inspired by a video I came across recently.

Blame game

She called him a monster without realising that she was the one feeding him

–From a fragment of my creative mind ūüėÄ

Many a times we find it convenient to blame others for all the things going wrong in our life.Suddenly we feel better knowing that it had nothing to do with us.

Anger builds inside
Blood rushes through my veins.
All my weak moments Flash before me
Like scenes of a movie.

Irritated, I try to divert my mind
I find myself walking down memory lane.
All those wrong choices
Taunt me, they hurt me.

A scream escapes my mouth.
It wasn’t my fault
I make myself believe.
It’s easier to blame
It lessens the pain, the shame.

I do not want to accept
It was me all along
That I was to blame.

I bottle up my frustrations
Till I can’t hold them in anymore
End up hurting people who love, who care.

Why do I find it so hard
To stop the blame game
And my ego tame.

Why pain is necessary

Pain according to the dictionary is “mental suffering or distress”.It is a normal reaction to stay away from things that cause you pain.You know it is unpleasant.No one will willingly got through pain. But many a times we forget that without pain we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the joy that follows.We constantly ask God not to give us any problems in our life but at the same time ask him to make us strong.How do you expect to become strong when you haven’t been refined through pain.

This was one question I constantly asked God,if you love me then why let me got through all the pain.In time,I’ve got my answer.When I look back at my life,I see that it is pain that has molded me and made me strong.If my life was a bed of roses all along,I would have never known the harsh realities of life.The pain made me do things I might have not done otherwise.I don’t know where the strength came from,but its source was the pain.

Yes we all have been hurt and if we use that pain to make ourselves a better person,instead of letting it destroy us piece by piece,wouldn’t the world be a happier place?Now this makes sense,everything happens for a reason.You go¬†through a situation that changes you completely and makes you a stronger person.You become more confident about handling a bigger problem with ease,’coz you now know how to¬†handle small problems.

I’m not promoting the fact that you should bear sufferings patiently when you need to speak up.There you definitely shouldn’t remain silent and fight for what is right.All I’m trying to say is that,you need not see pain entirely as a bad thing.Instead you should channel the negativity in it and turn your¬†situation around.You will be a lot happier!I call this finding happiness even in pain.