Fleeting Paradox

Living in oblivion,
Inside a bubble I built around.
Shutting people out,
Hiding behind a mask,
For fear of losing myself,again.
I convinced myself it was better this way.

Letting people see inside my complex self,
Fills my heart with an inexplicable fear.
The one that filled my heart 
That dreadful day I lost a friend.
A part of me left with her that day,
One I knew I couldn't recover.

Day after day I told myself,
She was way too good.
Too good to be true.
Rumors flew,
I was caught in those web of lies.

Fights followed,loyalties ended.
Both ended up with broken hearts.
Egos got the better of us,
Hatred seeped into our hearts
Darkening our souls to the core.

I no longer recognized the girl
I once called my friend.
Realization dawned on me, in looking
At that dusty mirror on the wall
Maybe it was just an illusion,
But I saw how dark my soul had become.

With every hateful word,
I lost a part of me
To the darkness metastasizing
Eating away what little was left of me.

I couldn't lose my light.
I was stronger than this darkness around me.
There had to be a way,
a solution to this mess I'd made of myself.

That's when I realized,
I wasn't looking in the right place.
I didn't need to embark on a life changing journey.
The answer was right here,inside of me.

When I pushed those clouds
Of hatred away
I saw that people 
aren't as rumors may say.

Love always finds a way.
It scrubs the darkness 
inked on my soul,away.
All you need is patience
and the willingness to stay.

Forgotten Smile

How can you smile

when hate is what you’ve received all your life.

How can you love,with wounds so deep.

Your heart used,abused and hurt.

How can you give when

all you had was snatched away from you.

How can you forgive

when mercy is alien to you.

 

What do you say to a soul

so broken and battered.

How do you provide rays of comfort ?

 

People told me to make peace with my past

then only could I step towards the future.

At first stubborn was I,

I didn’t want to let go of the pain

‘coz then I’d have nothing to hate.

My life would lose meaning

if I forgave those who hurt me.

 

Days later I got thinking

trying won’t cause any harm.

So each day I made myself

forgive those who caused me pain.

 

As I looked into the mirror each day

I saw a much stronger person,

I was taken aback a little.

“How?” is the question  I keep asking  myself,

how did this come to be?

“Should I embrace this new person I see

or run as far as my legs take me.”

 

I’m beginning to feel

to love and care for people.

I see that hatred being washed away

and I’m feeling the weight lift off day by day.

I think I can feel the corners of my mouth

shape a smile across my face.

I think I’ve found peace,I found happiness.

Deafening SIlence

“How can you live in peace when you have your own battles going on inside?”

 

Image

As I walk among busy crowds

I see people hustling by

lost in the noise of their mundane lives.

Earphones plugged in,music deafening

most of them try to drown out

the incessant cries of their hurting soul.

If you look closely 

each one tells a different story.

 

They prevent exposing their true self

for fear they won’t be accepted.

It is much easier to just walk away

without care or thought.

 

No they aren’t wearing a mask.

It is a mere tool to distract

them from the stress and tensions of life

they want to run,

turn away and hide.

 

Why always choose the easy way out?

‘Coz it is less painful.

They don’t have to hear people

constantly accusing them

of not being good enough.

Calling them a failure

no matter how hard they try,

 reopening old wounds.

 

This world is harsh on those

genuinely trying to change

Even the little  courage

they gather to put behind their mistakes,

are lost in the careless whispers that float around

hopeless and trapped in the past

 they roam round and round  

only to end up where they started.

 

Why is it so hard to let someone try again?

If you cannot encourage

atleast don’t put them down.

You never know when the tables will turn

and you might fail.

Put some thought,

would you like to be treated the same?

 

 

 

Lose a little inner peace

Keeping grudges over insignificant issues

binding myself more and more each day.

I lose a little bit of the good in me.

I lose a little inner peace.

 

Using hurtful words,just to get back at someone

ruining relationships ‘coz of selfish wants.

I lose a little bit of the good in me.

I lose a little inner peace.

 

Call her fat,call him ugly.

He hurt me,he deserves it.

I lose a little bit of the good in me.

I lose a little inner peace.

 

Lying,cheating,manipulating

people closest to me.

I lose a little bit of the good in me.

I lose a little inner peace.

 

Building  mountains of hatred and jealousy

with each passing day,

I lose a little bit of the good in me.

I lose a little inner peace.