Fleeting Paradox

Living in oblivion,
Inside a bubble I built around.
Shutting people out,
Hiding behind a mask,
For fear of losing myself,again.
I convinced myself it was better this way.

Letting people see inside my complex self,
Fills my heart with an inexplicable fear.
The one that filled my heart 
That dreadful day I lost a friend.
A part of me left with her that day,
One I knew I couldn't recover.

Day after day I told myself,
She was way too good.
Too good to be true.
Rumors flew,
I was caught in those web of lies.

Fights followed,loyalties ended.
Both ended up with broken hearts.
Egos got the better of us,
Hatred seeped into our hearts
Darkening our souls to the core.

I no longer recognized the girl
I once called my friend.
Realization dawned on me, in looking
At that dusty mirror on the wall
Maybe it was just an illusion,
But I saw how dark my soul had become.

With every hateful word,
I lost a part of me
To the darkness metastasizing
Eating away what little was left of me.

I couldn't lose my light.
I was stronger than this darkness around me.
There had to be a way,
a solution to this mess I'd made of myself.

That's when I realized,
I wasn't looking in the right place.
I didn't need to embark on a life changing journey.
The answer was right here,inside of me.

When I pushed those clouds
Of hatred away
I saw that people 
aren't as rumors may say.

Love always finds a way.
It scrubs the darkness 
inked on my soul,away.
All you need is patience
and the willingness to stay.